Shocked

In the days following the November 8th elections, I have continued to go through various ups and downs. The ups mostly come when I allow myself to be distracted by interesting or happy things, but so far, the downs always come roaring back. I go through all kinds of feelings. I am appalled, I feel grief, I am fearful, I am shocked, or I am sad. For days, I have been thinking about unloading some of my thoughts here in the hope that doing so might help me simply "get it off my chest." Since each of the different feelings I have derives from different things, I guess I'll try approaching writing down my thoughts along those lines.

Why am I appalled?
To put it into the simplest possible terms, I cannot understand how any thinking, rational person could have chosen to vote for Trump. I see him as having no redeeming qualities of any kind. He is a joke as a human being. The words from his own mouth condemn any positive views of him. He is not a successful businessman. He has cheated employees and clients. He has no governmental or political experience. His understanding of and respect for the Constitution of the United States is abysmal. He has no self-control and is far too easily baited to react in haste or with vindictiveness, and thus is dangerous. He is bigoted and disrespectful. He is insensitive. He has horrible attitudes and behaviors regarding women and has in fact been a predator. He lacks good judgement. His lack of eloquence is profound. I cannot imagine him in any way as a leader, a role model, a person of integrity, or as the central figure in our collective image of what America is supposed to be. I often think of it this way: No one I know would ever hire someone like Trump, allow our daughters to date someone like Trump, nor allow anyone like him to represent us in any regard.

As I understand, many of those who voted for him simply sought change and felt forgotten in some way. So evidently his brash speech, unlimited promises and wild ideas appealed to them. I can accept the idea that Secretary Clinton may not have been a perfect alternative candidate for voters. For me, though, it was like the choice between an apple that is rotten, collapsed, and full of worms and one that is of good quality, though maybe with a blemish or two. Also, I could sometimes understand voting for third party candidates, even though these votes are usually "just for the principle of the thing." The third party candidates for this election though were so totally unqualified that choosing to vote for them was just a waste. Someone was going to be your President–you might as well make your vote count for the person who actually had a chance to be your President.

I am further appalled at the way supposed Christians and those in the evangelical right have aligned themselves behind someone who is so antithetical to their stated beliefs. Or maybe I don't understand what their beliefs really are! My sense of Christianity expects tolerance, inclusion, and kindness. Honestly, though I came from a family with a tradition of religion and Christianity, I today find religion to offer us little. Rather, all over the world, religion seems only to divide us and to be used to justify horrible actions and behaviors. Now, with Trump's election, we will likely see even more divisiveness being justified by religious affiliations or beliefs. I often reflect on John Lennon's song Imagine and the part of the lyric that goes "Nothing to kill or die for/And no religion too/Imagine all the people living life in peace." I can buy into that!

Honestly, I think both parties might have presented stronger candidates. I dislike that the Republican party seems not to be the viable party of integrity that I believe it to have been years ago. I have frequently said that it does not seem to me to be the same party with which my parents aligned. Today, Republicans seem only to talk of conservatism at all costs and to act only in ways which obstruct or which intend to "turn back the clock." Democrats, on the other hand, can be far too idealistic, though I love their progressive and inclusive intentions. Where are the young leaders of integrity and good character in these two parties? For me, President Obama was such a person, but I have trouble identifying others, and now look what has happened!

Why do I feel grief and sadness?
Once I exhaust myself thinking about the appalling nature of the election outcome, I come to an overwhelming sense of grief and loss. Overly dramatic though it may sound, this grief has been not unlike that I felt at the loss of my mother many years ago. It was that wrenching for me initially, though I guess I'm going through some stages of acceptance.

There are three primary ways in which I feel saddened. One is the way in which the election outcome might be seen as repudiating President Obama or the efforts of other recent administrations to move us forward as a nation. I have only the highest regard for President Obama, the First Lady, and their family. They have been excellent models for the kind of leadership we should have in the White House. Their integrity and eloquence have provided us with guidance and comfort. I don't like the thought that the President may feel discouraged when he departs the Oval Office. I can only offer a distant and symbolic pat on the back and a whisper of, "Job well done!" (Although maybe I should write and say that to them.)

Second is the sense that the election outcome represents an about face in the direction our nation has been going. Here, by election outcome, I refer not only to Trump's election but also to the empowerment of the Republican party and its unyielding conservative and extreme right elements through majorities in the Senate and House (and with the Supreme Court likely also to turn that way in time). In my 72 years, I have seen us make wonderful, positive strides forward in civil rights, women's rights, environmental attention, regulatory reform, health care, scientific research, and other areas. These were hard-fought and difficult gains. Trump and the Republican agenda threaten to undo all of this and to further enable only big business, big spending, and special interests.

Third, I am deeply disappointed that the so-called glass ceiling has not been broken and that we are not likely now in my lifetime to see a woman president. We had a chance for that to happen, and it would have been inspirational for so many girls and young women. I am still eager to see a woman in this position of leadership and to watch the ways in which such leadership contrasts with that of men.

A good friend and I have both commented that maybe being older now will not be so bad. We won't have to watch the degradation we expect to see, for as long. Yet, I feel for my children and grandchildren, should my worries prove to be true.

Of what is it that I am fearful?
I have written just above about the concern that we may have turned 180º from our direction as a nation. Already, there is evidence that this election is changing us in unfortunate ways. There are three broad areas where I am most concerned. These areas are tolerance and human rights, leadership, and the environment.

During the campaign, Trump himself displayed a terrible intolerance and disregard for the rights of others. He repeatedly showed outright bigotry and misogyny. His intolerance for Muslims and Hispanics was vehement. Refugees and immigrants were special targets. Many of his supporters displayed that same hatred of others–not just voters but also campaign workers and aides. Some of his supporters are known to be affiliated with hate groups or with organizations that promote intolerance. Now, since the election, numerous instances of hate crimes and hateful behavior are being reported around the country. It is as if Trump's election has enabled these crimes and behaviors. This is frightening! We are a better nation than this. Our founding principles assert that all are created equal. For most of my lifetime, we have steadily begun to address some of the ways in which we fail to meet those principles. Are we now, because of having elected a tyrant going to turn away from all of that? I have always believed that we Iowans have a better nature about such matters. One can cite numerous examples, going back over decades, of ways in which we have tended to rise above bigotry and hatred. Yet now, even in Iowa, there are daily reports of hatred and inappropriate behavior toward others. These things are all frightening and disgusting!

Already, one can see signs of extremely poor leadership on Trump's part. For example, when asked about the many instances of displays of hate that have followed his election, he said something like, "They should stop it." Wow! Compelling, inspirational, and exemplary this is not. The directions he has taken in terms of personnel choices for key roles as advisors, aides, and cabinet positions are discouraging and very troublesome. Most of those selected thus far reinforce the notion that this administration will be one of intolerance and disregard for diversity. Indeed, Bannon and Sessions have histories of association with extremist groups, racial prejudice, and intolerance. How can we expect anything good to come from this? Trump also seems to be unwilling to properly put his personal resources into a blind trust or to otherwise disassociate himself from his business dealings. Nepotism appears to be of little concern to him as well. Even though there has been some mild walking back from certain campaign promises, his actions and choices seem aimed squarely at fulfilling many of those promises, and the damage that can and will be done is unthinkable.

We just celebrated the 100th anniversary of the National Park System, which Ken Burns and others called America's best idea. Those of us who love our wilderness areas and national resources would hate to see anything that turns away from this. Add to that the obvious and scientific proof that the climate is changing in severe ways. Just yesterday, I learned that the Arctic is warmer than it has ever been in the history of man. The ice cap is barely refreezing this year. Weather patterns are without precedent. Yet, Trump and those he trusts deny all of this and repudiate the science. Together with most Republicans, who put big business interests ahead of all else, Trump and other leaders will now threaten to dismantle environmental regulations and to allow businesses to have an unhampered hand in choosing which resources to utilize and how to utilize them. They may be allowed to threaten resources that once damaged will never recover, such as marine habitats, the Boundary Water Wilderness, northern forests, and countless forms of flora and fauna. In time, we can conceivably recover from damage to our human rights efforts or our world leadership position, but we won't be able to recover unique, precious, national resources once they are destroyed, and we won't be able easily to change the environment back once we have melted all of the ice, created vast arid regions, and introduced horrendous weather patterns.

How can I move forward?

So in the end, what can I do to counter any of this? Several editorialists and one humorist I admire have already provided some useful ideas. Here are a few examples which I encourage you to read or view:

• Ten-Step Program for Adjusting to President-Elect Trump by Gail Collins
• A 12-Step Program for Responding to President-Elect Trump by Nicholas Kristof
• Episode 30 of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (starting especially at about minute 18:30)

I had already come to several conclusions myself and am encouraged to see them again in the comments and ideas of others. First, I think I absolutely must work at being a more openly kind and considerate person. This begins at home, but it also means that when I am out and about, I must demonstrate more friendliness, kindness, helpfulness, and consideration to others. Second, I must not allow expressions of bigotry or hate to go unchallenged. This will be hard for me. I dislike conflict. Though I do not encounter it often, I occasionally hear someone use a derogatory term or express prejudice of some kind. I must learn to challenge these expressions, make clear that I do not hold with them, and invite reconsideration of the position. Third, I can direct charitable contributions to organizations that will work to address the concerns I've expressed here. For me, this may include the Southern Poverty Law Center, the Sierra Club or Natural Resources Defense Council, or the Save the Boundary Waters organization. Finally, I intend to be much more active in writing to my elected representatives, both at state and federal levels.